Her heartbeat skipped a beat ,the anxiety ,the restlessness she was feeling from evening and now this early morning phone call from papa .
Within fraction of second her mind wandered through enough negative possiblities which made her to freak out .
She tried to gasp for breath and picked up her phone.
As if almighty have already sent her enough indications to get ready for something really unpleasent
Her papa on the other side mumbled “your nani is no more beta ” .Hello anu ,anuu her papa kept repeating her name but she could not reply .
She disconneted the call and manged to sit down leaning to the wall maaa ,escaped the word along with some silent tears.
Yes maa that’s what she used to call her nani .
She actually was more than her grandmother .
Her soul was connected to her nani(grandmother).Memories good bad started to roll infront of her .
During her childhood ,she would not let her grandmother sleep .she used to be scared of what if my nani will keep sleeping like neetu’s nani did .No ,i should keep my nani awake so that she wont’t die while sleeping.
That fear of loosing her nani in that 6 year old innocent heart was imprinted so strongly that it remained as it is over the course of the time .
And today when that innocent childish fear turned into harsh unchangeable reality this 26 years old turned into that same 6 years old whose biggest fear was loosing her nani.
She broke down ,tears kept flowing uncontrobally .
What a fate it was ,she was not even around her ,the one who made her learn to walk ,needed her the most and all she could do was walk away .
They saw it coming ,nani was sick from a while now still she wasn’t prepared at all.
How can you be prepared for your loved one to leave and never return.
No matter how tough it is ,you always keep that little hope alive.
Nani was illitreate ,but she contained all the knowledge ranging from mythology to wild life .
Annu grew up eating the food cooked by her.
Even now she always used to complain her mumma ,why don’t you ask from maa ,that taste is lacking mummy no matter how much i try i cant cook like her even you cant .
Nani’s routine used to begin at the strike of 4 in the morning with her daily chores and offering prayers to mahadev ,she was a huge devotee of mahadev .
Anu still remembered how nani used to call beggers and made them sit in verandah and offer food with utmost love and care.
The empathy she used to carry for everyone around ,is something rare to be seen .
she hugged her pillow , which kept staining until she dozed off and there she was her maa her face was glowing with light of peace and love which was her glory.
why did you left ma ,ma smiled and said you needed an angel in your life right .
she rememberd how she cried infront of her ,the last time she met .
Nothing is going good ,I wish God had given me an angel .
So here I am my baby ,to guard you always .
She smiled and kissed her maa in the sleep , my love and my blessings will always shield you.
Her dream broke ,she wiped away her tears , folded her hand thank you almighty for letting me say goodbye to her ,you were and will always be my angel ma .
Far away in the sky ,the morning star shone a lilttle brighter .
Author’s note : based on my bond and experiences with my grandma.
You are missed maa 😦